"Apna number pehle sudhaar. Tera brain ‘out of order’ ka board laga ke baitha hai." (Fix your own number first. Your brain’s sitting with an ‘out of order’ sign.) [SCENE: TEA STALL. TEJA (SHEKHAR SUMAN) ENTERS WITH STYLE.]
"Yeh mera idea tha, main hero banunga!" (This was my idea, I’ll be the hero!)
"Masterji, main pahunch gaya. Sab taiyyar hai." (Masterji, I’ve arrived. Everything is ready.) andaz apna apna subtitles
(overlapping, typical subtitle ending): "Yeh picture nahi, revolution hai. Andaz Apna Apna — naam bade, kaam... wahiyaat. Par hasna mat. Kyunki agar yeh nahi hasa toh kuch nahi hasa." (This isn’t a movie, it’s a revolution. Andaz Apna Apna — big name, work... nonsense. But don’t laugh. Because if this doesn’t make you laugh, nothing will.) Would you like a specific scene's subtitle transcription from the actual movie (e.g., the "Crimelab" scene, the "Do Mutthi Chai" scene, or the climax fight)?
(snaps fingers): "Teja. Teja. Teja. Kaun hai Teja? Main hoon Teja. Ab sugar dega, warna mera ‘cutting’ teri chaai nahi — teri ungli ki hogi." (Teja. Teja. Teja. Who is Teja? I am Teja. Now give the sugar, or my ‘cutting’ won’t be for your tea — it’ll be for your finger.) [SCENE: ROBERT (SHAKTI KAPOOR) REPORTING TO TEJA.] "Apna number pehle sudhaar
"Ek cutting chai... cutting waali cutting. Aur usme do spoon sugar — free mein." (One cutting chai — the real ‘cutting’ kind. And two spoons of sugar — free of cost.)
"Tera dil toh skip nahi karta — full dhakka maarta hai." (Your heart doesn’t skip — it gives a full push.) [SCENE: FINAL PUNCHLINE TONE — ANY CHARACTER] TEJA (SHEKHAR SUMAN) ENTERS WITH STYLE
"Aadmi, sahab." (Men, sir.)
"Tujhe kya samajhna? Tu kaam kar. Dialogues mere hain." (Why should you understand? You do the work. The dialogues are mine.) [SCENE: RAVI (PAWAN MALHOTRA) TRIES TO ACT SMART.]
"Samajh nahi aaya, Masterji." (I didn’t understand, Masterji.)
"Chup! Main hero hoon. Tu villain hai — villain number 'zero point five'." (Quiet! I’m the hero. You’re the villain — villain number ‘zero point five.’)