Bambi Sandy Downward Spiral -
She was on the ground. And the ground, she learned, was where you began to walk.
Sandy had never been called “Bambi” until the winter of her fifteenth year. It was a nickname given by her father’s new girlfriend, a sharp-edged woman named Celeste who meant it as a compliment. “Look at you, with those big, wet eyes and those long, trembling legs. A little Bambi, just trying to stand on the ice.”
The third turn was the fastest. A boy from her chemistry class, quiet and kind, asked her to a party. She went because saying no would require an emotion. At the party, someone handed her a red cup. She drank. Then another. Then something harder, something that burned. For a few hours, the lake dried up. She was in her body again—laughing, dancing, falling. Bambi Sandy Downward Spiral
The medication made her feel like she was watching herself from across a lake. Someone else was taking the pills. Someone else was nodding at the therapist. Someone else was that girl—Bambi Sandy—with the big eyes and the no-mouth.
The spiral began quietly. Not with a crash, but with a slow leak. She was on the ground
In the quiet of the room—machines beeping, rain tapping the window—she realized the spiral had stopped. Not because she was saved. Not because of the crash or the brace or her father’s tears. But because she had hit something solid. The bottom.
By spring, the nickname had turned cruel. Boys in the hallway would whisper “Bambi” as she walked past, then pretend to trip, splaying their legs like newborn fawns. She learned to keep her eyes on the floor tiles. One, two, three, four—don’t look up. If she didn’t see them, they couldn’t see her. It was a nickname given by her father’s
And for the first time in a long time, Sandy looked up from the floor. Her legs still trembled. Her eyes were still big and wet. But she wasn’t on ice anymore.
The second turn of the spiral came in June. Celeste moved in full-time. She redecorated Sandy’s room—threw out the old stuffed rabbit her mother had won at a carnival, replaced the quilt with something beige and stiff. “You need order, Bambi. Chaos is what broke your mother.”