Before The Dawn -2019- Today

Here is what 2019 felt like: a held breath. A party where everyone senses the host is about to make an announcement, but no one leaves. The climate strikes. The impeachment hearings. The memes. The last normal Super Bowl. The final year you could hug a stranger without thinking. The dawn that morning was unremarkable—gold and pink, the same as always. But if you were awake for the before, you might remember a strange stillness. As if the world had paused to check its pockets for something it had lost.

In a diner outside Chicago, a short-order cook named Earl flips eggs over-easy. His only customer is an elderly man who orders the same thing every Tuesday at this hour: black coffee, toast dry, one egg. The man never speaks. Earl doesn’t mind. They have a pact. The man pays, leaves a two-dollar tip, and walks out into the parking lot. He stands there for a full minute, looking at nothing. Then he gets into his 1998 Buick and drives away. Earl will never see him again after March. But tonight—this last autumn before the dawn—he wipes the counter and hums a song he can’t name. before the dawn -2019-

In a field outside Glastonbury, a fox crosses the A361. No cars. No headlights. The fox stops mid-stride, one paw raised, ears swiveling toward the east. Something is different. The usual pre-dawn chorus—the tentative robin, the clearing thrush—has not begun. The fox waits. Then moves on, silent as a rumor. Here is what 2019 felt like: a held breath