Selamat tinggal. 再见. Goodbye.
I did not hear the thunder when I first arrived. Singapore never announces itself with storms. It greets you with a warm, wet blanket of air—a tropical embrace that clings to your skin the moment the airport doors slide open. I remember thinking, This is what hope feels like. Sticky. Heavy. Full of possibility.
And yet, I do not belong. That is the quiet ache of the expatriate, the migrant, the sojourner. I have lived here long enough to know the shortcuts, the best nasi lemak , the unspoken rules of queuing with a tissue packet. But I will never know what it means to sing the national anthem in a school hall with a hand over my heart. I will never know the fear of Merdeka or the pride of National Day from the inside. I am a guest. A grateful, heartbroken guest. farewell my singapore
Tonight, I stand at Changi. It is raining outside—that sudden, violent tropical rain that turns the streets into rivers for fifteen minutes before vanishing like it never existed. I watch the planes take off. Somewhere, a family is reuniting. Somewhere, a student is leaving for university. Somewhere, a worker is flying home to see a newborn child.
Farewell, my Singapore. Farewell to the shophouses of Joo Chiat, painted in pastel blues and yellows like a Wes Anderson film. Farewell to the Singlish I finally learned to speak— "Can, can," "Alamak," "Don't shy-shy" —words that will sound foreign on my tongue back home. Farewell to the perpetual summer, where Christmas comes with palm trees and air-conditioning. Selamat tinggal
Held onto the railings, the railings of Cavenagh Bridge. Looked at the skyline and said to myself: I will remember this.
My Singapore. My temporary, permanent home. I did not hear the thunder when I first arrived
And I will.
As the plane lifts off, I press my forehead against the cold window. The city lights blur into a constellation—a string of gold and diamond against the black sea. You look so small from up here. So impossibly small. And yet, you contain worlds.