Geordie Shore ⚡

The Kitchen.

(Mumbling, not awake) Don’t… touch… me… lashes…

The Stairs.

HOLY (22) is trying to make a bacon sandwich, but she’s wearing sunglasses indoors and moving like a sloth on tranquilizers. She opens the fridge. A toy chicken falls out. She screams.

I’M THAT MORTIFIED, LADS. I’VE GOT GLITTER IN PLACES GLITTER SHOULD NEVER BE. I’M LIKE A HUMAN FABERGE EGG. Geordie Shore

A framed photo of the lads. It has a slice of pizza crust balanced on the corner.

The Garden.

Wet wipes and empty bottles of CÎROC COCONUT WATER litter the floor.

Morning, shaggers! I’ve just been for a dip in the North Sea. Absolutely Baltic. Me bits have retreated so far inside me, I think I’ve become a woman. Anyway, recap: Marnie got her lad out, Sophie cried in a bin, and I definitely snogged someone’s dad. The Kitchen

storms in, looking like a pumped-up pitbull in a spray-on T-shirt. He is furious.

(Pointing at the bedroom) Marnie. She’s getting both barrels. And then I’m getting in the shower, I’m putting on a fresh pair of joggers, and we are going OUT. She opens the fridge