Princess Protection Program -

But interestingly, the film subverts this too. The final act does not revolve around Donny choosing a girl. It revolves around the girls choosing each other. Carter sabotages her own chance at the dance crown to help Rosie escape back to Costa Luna. Rosie, in turn, refuses to leave until Carter is safe. Donny is almost an afterthought. For a 2009 teen flick, prioritizing the female friendship over the romantic subplot was quietly revolutionary. Let’s be honest: The third act goes off the rails in the best way. General Kane invades a high school harvest dance in Louisiana. Armed mercenaries crash a pageant being held in a gymnasium decorated with crepe paper.

★★★★☆ (4/5 Tiaras) Streaming on: Disney+ (as of 2024)

Were you team Rosie or team Carter? Or are you finally realizing the movie was actually about economic disparity in fictional monarchies? Drop your takes below. Princess Protection Program

If you were a kid in 2009, two names dominated the Disney Channel zeitgeist: Demi Lovato and Selena Gomez. Before they were battling wolves on The Mortal Instruments or producing 13 Reasons Why , they were the reigning queens of the TV movie. We all remember Camp Rock and Wizards of Waverly Place: The Movie , but sandwiched between those musical blockbusters was a strange, wonderful, and surprisingly sharp little film: Princess Protection Program .

Let’s look under the tarp. The film opens in the fictional nation of Costa Luna (a soap-opera stand-in for a Mediterranean monarchy). Princess Rosalinda (Lovato) is about to be inaugurated as the crown princess when her evil uncle, General Magnus Kane, stages a coup. To save her life, she is whisked away by the "Princess Protection Program" (PPP)—a secret agency dedicated to relocating endangered royals. But interestingly, the film subverts this too

Suddenly, the Princess Protection Program agents pull out spy gadgets, Carter whips a baseball bat like a ninja, and Rosie delivers a speech about democracy while wearing a prom dress. It is absurd. It is chaotic. And it is awesome .

Conversely, Carter Mason is a walking rebellion against femininity. She wears baggy cargo pants, spikes her hair with gel, and is horrified by the concept of a "makeover." She rejects the idea that a woman needs to be soft or pretty to have value. Carter sabotages her own chance at the dance

The genius of the film is that it refuses to pick a winner. It doesn’t say "Tomboy is better" or "Princess is better." Instead, the climax forces them to synthesize.

Her new safe house? Monroe, Louisiana. Population: tiny. Her new identity? Rosie Gonzales, the "cousin" of Carter Mason (Gomez), a sarcastic, baseball-playing, mud-wrestling country girl.

When the big dance competition arrives (because it’s a Disney movie, of course there is a dance competition), Carter learns that vulnerability isn't weakness, and Rosie learns that strength isn't cruelty. Rosie teaches Carter how to stand up straight. Carter teaches Rosie how to slide into home base. They don't erase each other; they complete each other. We have to talk about Donny (Matt Prokop). In the pantheon of Disney Channel love interests, Donny is... there. He’s the generic popular guy who works at the bait shop and plays guitar. He exists solely to be the trophy for whichever girl "wins."

On the surface, it sounds like a B-movie parody: A rural Louisiana tomboy swaps lives with a timid European princess fleeing a dictator. But beneath the wigs, the accent coaching, and the early 2000s fashion, this movie holds a surprisingly radical thesis about identity, friendship, and the performance of femininity.